Inhale AND Exhale a new kind of New Year’s Resolution
By Laurel Miller, MGI Board Member and Professional Life Coach
Duality. It is the art of seeing and being at two different spectrums at what feels like the same time. Moving into 2019, make your personal theme to both inhale AND exhale.
Doing vs. Being
I have learned over my personal journey the last few years that you can’t just “do,” you must also “be.” Goals are necessary, but they are not the entire puzzle. It is about how we do what we do. The how comes from who we are being. Rewind a few years ago and you would have found me as a chronic doer, people pleaser, list checker, plan maker who was disguising herself as super woman. This super woman was exhausted.
We all feel good when we check off our “to do” list. After all it means we accomplished something and we absolutely need to be proud of these types of tasks! When we set a goal, even as small as getting the grocery shopping complete within a certain budget; it calls for celebration. However, where we need to be alert is when we take “doing” to a whole new level. Some of us use “doing” and “accomplishing” as a stress management tool. We get a nice hit of dopamine that comes from the check on the checklist. This is all great until we start to define our worthiness with how many checks are on that list. We are not defined only by how much we do; trust me I can relate. This advice is coming from the girl who completed her MBA in 1 year all while working full-time. Checking off the to-do list has its time and place, but consuming your life isn’t one of them.
Being is the nature or essence of a person.
We can go a large part or all of our lives not realizing that there is another part to the equation. A lot of people forget that who they are is quite literally what matters most. Who we are is represented in how we show up. We can schedule our lives away with checklists and action items but the key is to remember that how we talk to the cashier at the grocery store is really what matters most. You get to decide how you are going to act in any given situation and most importantly you have to choose who you want to be in all situations. It is essential to your life. It is how others will remember you and it also directly effects how you feel about yourself. It is the missing half of the equation. Choose to be what makes you feel good.
Inhale AND Exhale
If we take a look at the definition of inhale and exhale and we compare it to our life in whole, it gives us a good sense as to how this theme really can help us live more fully.
To inhale is to breathe in. It is the opposite of “exhale,” which is to breathe out. When we inhale, we draw air into our lungs through our noses and mouths. Then we exhale, or breathe the air out again.
Translating this into a practical sense that we can integrate into our lives would be to compare inhaling to practices of self-care. Most people are far too unfamiliar with the concept of self-care. Even if they intellectually know what it is, they tend to not integrate it into their lives. Inhaling may come in the form of reading a book, taking a hike, submerging yourself in a bubble bath, going to the gym, mediation or however it feels good to you. Inhaling is investment in yourself. It is important to understand that you are worth the investment. Self-care is as equally important as air is to our lungs. Also that investment compounds at such a rapid rate that you are then able to give more to the important people in your lives, just like the air you breathe in is eventually what you breathe out. It is all a part of a bigger cycle. How you show up and invest in yourself is how you show up and invest in others.
On the other side of this we would compare exhaling to any task in which we do for others. Quite often we find ourselves giving to others at rapid speed. We are quick to pick up a project at work, remove our boundaries so we can help a friend, stay late at the office and many other situations in which I am sure you have no problem rattling off as you read this content. These types of examples are times we may become energetically drained if we are not careful.
Far too often, individuals are only participating in activities in which drain their cup and are lose sight of balancing life with the inhale. It is my experience that most people want to do well in the world. Doing good can come in all forms such as their job, being a fitness instructor, a parent, a teacher and many more we can’t list here. However, we can only give from an overflowing cup. I share this quote because after living with an IT professional you learn to compare life to in adamant objects such as a computer and suddenly you have a valuable piece of wisdom:
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Anne Lamott
All joking aside, this is a very powerful quote in that if we do not take time to unplug, unwind or fill our cup, we just simply cannot shine as bright as we are meant to shine. While we re-focus our resolutions and intentionally add the inhale; I also encourage you to think about who you are showing up to be in your life. Your value comes from who you are and not entirely by what you do. The resolution in which I encourage you to set this year is to ensure your precious time has the most focus spent on inhaling so you have the purest air in which to breathe out into the world.
Laural Miller is a board member with My Gut Instinct and a professionally-certified life and leadership coach who specializes in helping clients see the full-picture in their life. Helping others dig deep and grow to their full potential is one of her biggest passions. She holds certifications in leadership, stress management, energy leadership, Reiki, and is pursuing her professional organizer certification. There are various ways in which to connect with her from workshops to one on one coaching relationships. Learn more about her coaching services at www.lauralmillercoaching.com
