Avoid the “I Have-To…” Trap

Written by: Andre Young

Success, our dreams, and our desired lifestyle as People, Partners, Parents, and Professional… are all found in our language. You have the ability to speak your dreams into success if when you intentionally chose the proper language, influence the proper daily action, and maintain an EVOLVED mindset… but it all starts with the language we choose to fill our day, our space, and our relationships at home and at work! In a society where we often value “Busy” over “Better”, one phrase stands out to me as a major culprit of stress and personal burn-out… “I have to…”.

The phrase “I have to…” is said by the millions of people so busy at work and at home… it’s said as they are looking at the time, their minds going a mile per minute, stressed making list, and crossing off all the things they “HAVE TO” do! Although the tasks may get done… isn’t it also about how it gets done? The manner, the attitude, and the effort of how it gets done? You cooked dinner for your family… but rushed through it with gritted teeth and frustration exuding out of your pores! You took your kids to their little league practice, but didn’t even talked to them as you rushed about, answered calls or was looking at your phone the entire time. You got that project done at work, but were stressed to the max… all the while forgetting to enjoy the process or celebrate the wins, successes, and life in general and on to the next task, project, or “Have To”! Enough is enough! Yes… These tasks are a part of the life you chose… unless you are planning to chose another… which will have its own set of different tasks… Let’s do something different and EVOLVE!!!

Every time you catch yourself saying “I have to…”… do yourself and your relationships a favor and think “I get to…”. Yes… I know it sounds crazy! However, this process over time multiplied by the simplicity of changing your language will EVOLVE your life, your relationships, and YOU! Years ago, I chose to live in my chosen Positives and Negatives; enjoying and celebrating the positives and understanding the negatives. Our negatives are two-fold. Whatever the negatives of your job, relationships, and life… negatives breakdown in two parts; what you can control and what parts are out of your control. The parts you can control … do something about! The parts you can’t… it sucks and let it go until maybe one day you can!

We can control or language… “I get to…” sounds a lot better to you mind, your heart, and your life than “I have to…” I get to go home to my wife, husband, family. I get to take my kids to practice. I get to go to work today. I get to complete this project at my job. I know its hard and may be weird to be positive all the time… but the truth is… what’s the alternative? And remember, no matter your situation… there are at least a million people out there right now that would be willing to trade places with you… go home to your home… to a family… to your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend, to your job, and have your life! You GET to do it and live it… let’s appreciate it!!!

Yes… there are irritating and hard times in life. To work through and pass them… we must learn how to vent. Here the You Evolving Now way… your venting is people limited and time limited; not for everyone that will listen and not all day to talk about. Venting is a process to release, move on, fix, and EVOLVE! Not, to share, get people on your side, sulk, and regress. Enjoy your “Get to”, Evolving your venting and enjoy your EVOLUTION!!!

Andre Young is a speaker, author, and Founder of You Evolving Now. He has taken his 19 years of experience as a Mental Health Therapist; focused on marital, individual, and group counseling; along with his life experiences and created a movement of Positivity, Personal Growth, Relationship Growth, and Lifestyle Enhancement. You Evolving Now is a Life-Enrichment company focused on providing Life-Enrichment Programming for Employees, Athletes, and Individuals; allowing them to EVOLVE and live their best lives as People, Partners, Parents, and Professionals! Find out more at www.youevolvingnow.com Enjoy your EVOLUTION!!!

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